As
week ends go this was not spectacular or stellar but that's okay all
told this was a good weekend true I didn't go to a live performance
play or even a movie. The high point of my weekend was spending time
at the food bank city with a group of folks waiting the bell to
ring granting me entrance to the food palace. This week I was in line
with three or four different races, Hispanic, Asian ,possible Native
American and of course a couple of good old Anglos. I don't even know
how to reference myself anymore I should consider myself fortunate to
possibly go both ways: white or brown. I have to admit there were
some very cute babies at yesterday's lineup. In fact it was kinda of
fun watching a Hispanic grandma cuddling two brand-new Asian babies
well maybe for five weeks old. Everybody just yapping and cooing at
the children. The day was chilly even though the sun shined brightly
we were engulfed in a cold front. Interestingly though I didn't catch
the conversation that between two folks coming out the side door. I
don't know if it was a complaint as much as a statement of fact or
derision. One female was talking to another and made this comment as
she shifted the box she was clutching to her breasts “yeah that's
not very good this week, not much stuff just meat and milk.” I
don't know why I felt abashed or somewhat angry but I did. I stop
short of accusing heard my mind of being an integrated because after
all I spend half my time telling the people putting items on the
counter for me to take don't want those items. I don't actually say I
don't want those to anybody else but to the help just so they can put
items back on the shelf. If I pondered too much I begin to feel
guilty wondering if I'm gaming the system. Making sure I get my milk
and meat and anything else that might be interesting this week. I
openly admit I'm a bit of an opportunist cherry picking right can.
Still I feel this is like my food bank and don't you go bad mouthing
it.
I'm
trying to force myself to work on the box project which is due on
Tuesday. I did spend some time drawing, not on boxes but the time
will count for the one half hour day we are supposed to be drawing.
It's not that I've lost my enthusiasm for the class reality has
dulled the shine significantly. I'm beginning to hide behind the
excuse of “well, I'm just auditing the class I don't really have to
perform.” I know that's a copout but what else can I do? So,
tonight if I have any time I'm going to try to work on the boxes
while I listen and watch halfheartedly the Tony's and at least clean
the boxes up a little bit. In my minds eye I see myself working the
project tomorrow as well. The pain in my rear end is returned
however, making sitting up kind of an ordeal. The sunlight today was
beautiful and encouraged me to read out in the parking lot next my
van tilted back so the weight is off my rear end. Hopefully tomorrow
when Joe comes he can take my butt up to the point where I can sit
and erase the lines I try to draw into some kind of b.ox
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