Shoes Blues

For no specific reason I'm becoming more and more conscious of my one and only pair of shoes. I don't know how long I've had them I imagine over 10 years. Don't think I fully appreciated the shoes when I first got them or should I say when Dianne first got the shoes. I pretty much delegated everything Dianne, she did such a great job. That girl knows how to shop I sure miss that. Anyway, I never even realized the shoes had a name, actually pretty funny I found this user actually Brooks shoes which I guess are a fairly famous shoe product. As I said, I've noticed recently the shoes are looking pretty well worn if they can look worn since I don't really walk in them. But I've noticed more and more the shoes tend to come off my feet easier and easier. I mean when I spasm. I don't think I'm spasming more these days but I think I'm losing the shoes more often.

This morning, when dressing, I think I lost both shoes after I had finally got my shorts up and on. The process is with the use of a leg lifting strap and one of my sticks I lift one leg up put lotion on my feet and put the shoe on. I cinch the shoes tied as I can on the foot which is somewhat difficult trying to reach my feet I can usually get a better grip a cinch on my right foot. I do the same process than for the left foot which is a bit more challenging primarily because my scoliosis and the way it twists my upper body away from my feet – – I know it sounds weird and it's even more weird to witness in real life – – but I have a difficult time cinching up the shoe on that foot I can never get this cinch as tight as I'd like therefore the shoe is in jeopardy it seems all the time of coming off. And that's what happened this morning when I push my leg off of my other leg the shoe tends to come off. I am also wondering how much of this is related to my new cushion which worries me a little bit since it's brand-new. It kind of provides better protection for my but but for some reasons pushed me forward and splaying my legs apart. This of course works directly on my ankles which stresses the feet and kind of rolls the feet in some cases right out of the shoes.

On a more vain level and begin to wonder how pathetic the shoes make me look. Remember I would issue summer and winter, without socks with shorts. In my mind I reason that in spring summer and possibly fall people don't notice my feet all that much are the fact that I'm wearing these shoes but in the winter people always look to see what my feet are doing because I'm wearing shorts which is a freaky thing to do in cold weather. I guess I should wear socks, that might make the shoes look a little better. I don't know shoes wear out in the same sense as able-bodied people wear the shoes out. Of course is no wear and tear on the soul of the shoe. But you can certainly see where I pull the Velcro straps over there seems to be a little wear and tear their maybe the straps don't cling as much as they used to as well it's not be part of the problem either way I'm thinking about investing in new shoes. I hate to buy anything I always have buyers remorse. I have always realized the shoes were of fairly good quality but I did not realize just how good. Like I said I googled Brooks Shoes today and found they run around $150! $150 for shoes? I've always been impressed with Dianne's courage to spend money. I wish I could. Dianne has skills that are amazing mean she bought the shoes off the Internet over the mail. I don't think I could spend $150 for a pair shoes even if the shoes lasted the 10 years and possibly longer. So I guess it's time to hit the cheapie shoe stores and see what I can get away with wearing and for how long – I figure 25 to 30 bucks is a good figure for gimp shoes that never have to be walked in…